W.W.S.O.D?

I came across a Suze Orman book at Goodwill a few months ago while visiting a friend who was working. (Forced work with an orange vest and all. That is beside the point. Move on, Morgan.)  I went back a few times and I could never find it, UNTIL LAST WEEK!  This time I did not hold tight onto my Dutch dollars and handed the cashier my 3 bucks. 

She is one smart lady.  I am now obsessed with all things financial.  "Would Suze Orman think it was okay to get a sandwich for dinner or should I make one at home?"  "Would Suze Orman sweat in the apartment or would she turn the air conditioning on?"  "Would Suze Orman drive to work or take the bus for free?"  Seriously, taken. over. my. life.  She would choose all the boring answers, but she is just sooo right on everything.    My FICO score is checked and awesome. No, I will not co-sign your loan. Suze says, "eff no."  My bills are up to date.  I have a low interest credit card. I'm golden so far.  I'm even thinking of starting a Roth IRA, for petes sake!

Ohmagosh, you can only imagine what Suze has to say about weddings!  She says to go small and instead use the money that would have gone towards the wedding and to put it toward a down payment on a house.  When I sent my mom a text telling her that Suze thinks we should have a small wedding and I said we should do a court wedding instead, mom wrote back with, "Suze is NO fun."  Soooo....no court wedding according to mom.  Mom and Suze would not be BFF.  My problem is that if we did do a court wedding I would want to use the money to travel around the world, rather than a down payment on a house. I can just hear her now, "Guuurlfriiiiiend, what are you thinking??"  and I would say, "But Suuuuzeeee...." and she would say, "Cut the crap. Now is the time to buuuy! You can take a vacation anytime."  Uuugh...Suze is so tough.

Tomorrow I have to go to the grocery store with Suze on my mind and bundled with the fact that I saw one of those freaking Crazy Coupon episodes with the ladies that pay $100 bucks for $1200 worth of food, I'm hoping that I save some cash-o-la.  Now I just need to find the coupons and learn how this whole process works.  Sweet baby Jesus, I hope I don't come home with 14 jars of pickles. Suze would totes not be okay with that.

P.S. --  I didn't get a sandwich anywhere, instead I made myself a dirty martini.  I didn't sweat in the apartment, instead went down to the pool.  Lastly, I ended up doing the Suze thing and took the bus...mainly because it was air conditioned and takes 5 minutes.  I think guuuurlfriiiiiend would be proud.