Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Wallet Chronicles

There once was a girl who had a wallet.  After a shift on a Saturday night she decided, "I'm going home."  She clocked out, grabbed her cell phone out of the drawer where she most certainly didn't use it to text throughout her shift :) and grabbed her black and white hounds tooth jacket that she found in the lost and found.  (Hey...it had been there for at least a month!)  She goes to grab for her purse that was where it usually was...waaait...it isn't there....she goes downstairs to check the other area where sometimes employees put their things. Wait a sec...dig, dig, dig...nope.  Humm...mean trick by the kitchen guys? Nope...

Can you guess who it is??

YUP! ME!

Wait, that isn't exciting.  Redo.

Yup. me...

Police report filed. Credit cards canceled.  Checking account canceled.  Lost are the gift cards and the FREE BREAKFAST AND SANDWICH from the frequent guest cards.  I would say those are priceless, but they're probably about $18 and a major source of pride.

Anyway, the two genius girls that did this decided to meet a bum outside of a bar just down the street from my place of work.  They lured him to his government housing with the promise of beer and pizza.  They got pizza, a bottle of vodka and some beer delivered to his "apartment."  They faked a stomach ache and left.  Homie didn't  even get to partake in the food and booze!  After they left, they went to a gas station and spent $43.36.  You can't fill a gas tank with $43.36! Also, what geniuses steal a wallet and use it at a gas station?! FULL OF CAMERAS!  Stupid of them = Good for me.

So the cops are getting the surveillance footage and handing it over to detectives since it is a felony.  I will keep everyone updated.

Also, some of the best responses are from my parents.  Dad's response about the $77 they spent at the Deli and Liquor delivery place.  He was more upset that they "obviously don't know you can't get a decent bottle of wine for $77."  Yeah, dad.  Obvi.  He is also more upset that they didn't take my iPhone, since he is a die hard Blackberry/Android/anything-not-Apple-user.  He also offered the use of a backhoe.  Where are you going to get a backhoe in Claremont, dad?

Mom asked all the normal questions.  Then finally...::GAAAASSSP!::: "WAAAAIT! Those little bitches stole our matching wallet?!"  Yes, mom.

Sooo, what do Thelma and Louise look like?  One is brunette and one has sandy colored hair.  So keep your eyes open, Ameeerica.  

In the mean time, if you see an awesome wallet lemme know.  I have to buy 2, so mom and I can have matching ones again.

Until next time,
Nancy Drew

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